Antacchaburu
by Jounouchi Kun Joey
Summary: You always think that you'll have tomorrow to tell someone you love them, to hold them one last time, or to say good-bye. But tomorrow isn't real...its untouchable...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, this isn't the first in my series, but it is the most interesting so I think we're going to work semi-backward.  
  
This story is dedicated to all those who have experienced, or are experiencing, either a family member's or their own struggle with Leukemia, or any other form of cancer. While in stories cancer has become a rather cliché way to kill a character, for those that have to suffer through it, it is not cliché but horrifyingly real. May God bless you and your families.  
  
-JKJ  
  
A/N 2: Okay lets see...  
  
Malik- Malik Yami no Malik- Ishtar Ryuo Bakura- Ryuo Yami no Bakura- Bakura (but since its from his POV his name is rarely used) Yuugi- Yuugi Yami no Yuugi- Yami (with a capital), but more commonly known as Pharoh. If it is 'yami' (without the capital) then it is whatever hikari is talking referring to his own dark half. Got it? Good ^^.  
  
Warnings: The following couples are in this story. If you don't like them, or don't like Slash, well then don't read it.  
  
Malik/Bakura Ishtar/Ryuo Yami/Anzu Yuugi/Rebecca Isis/Honda Seto/Shizuka Jounouchi/Mai  
  
There won't be any sex scenes, particularly for those slash couples mentioned, but there will be kisses and cuddles ^^. You are free to flame me if you want, but since they will be completely ignored it'll be a waste of your time.  
  
Rating: PG-13 for obvious reasons.  
  
Authoress: JKJ (Jounouchi_kun_joey@yahoo.com)  
  
Title: Antacchaburu  
  
"We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance."  
  
~Marcel Proust  
  
For some reason the human mind thinks that it is invincible. It always thinks there will be a tomorrow for you to do things. You always think that you'll have tomorrow to tell the person you love the most that you still love them just as much as the first time you saw them, that the sight of them still makes your heart flutter, their touch still makes you tremble with delight. You always think you'll have tomorrow to hold them one last time, to give them that final searing kiss, or to say good-bye. But tomorrow isn't real, it's an illusion.  
  
Have you ever thought about how fragile the human life is? We have no natural armor, we bruise like ripe peaches, and we do all kinds of dangerous things. We're naturally social creatures, but someone could wake up one morning and go "Oh I want to kill someone today" and do it without too much difficulty.  
  
And, of course, there are those silent killers of diseases. Our body is so complicated that the stupid doctors can't figure out how they work, but one small thing goes wrong with it and you're dead. That's just screwed up. These stupid diseases can strike anybody, with little or no warning!  
  
That's what happened to my Malik. One day he's a happy, normal, college kid living with his four best friends and his boyfriend in a three- bedroom apartment, working two jobs, and complaining about his math homework. Then, it seems almost the next day, we were at the doctors office having the term leukemia, or in Malik's case AML, explained to us, and having to face the searing reality that there wasn't a damn thing the stupid doctor could do to help him. There was no cure.  
  
But we'll get to that later. Not tomorrow, because if there's one thing this experience has taught me is that there is no tomorrow. We all live and work for a future that may never come, just like it didn't in Malik's case. As I sat, day in and day out, by his bedside, I learned to savor every moment, and as I watched him die before my eyes, I discovered that those moments were all I had left. Because there was no guarantee he'd be there the next moment.  
  
There was no tomorrow for Malik, just as there will be no tomorrow for me. There is only today. That's the lesson he taught me, and the one his last breath drove home. Tomorrow doesn't come, tomorrow isn't real. Ganmou antacchaburu desu. Tomorrow is untouchable. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning:** This chapter contains swearing, and lots of (extremely non- graphic) shonen ai kissing and cuddling, as well as sexual innuendo for same sex couples.  
  
**Antacchaburu (Untouchable)  
  
Chapter 1**

* * *

_ "Never forget that you must die; that death will come sooner than you expect...God has written the letters of death upon your hands. In the inside of your hands you will see the letters M.M. It means 'Memento Mori'- remember you must die." _

_J. Furniss_

* * *

"You really need to do your homework, yami," my hikari said as he walked across the room to turn off the TV.  
  
"Hey!" I growled, and flipped over on my stomach so I was looking at him, more or less right side up, "I was watching that."  
  
"You were watching the ceiling."  
  
"I was listening then." My hikari rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips.  
  
"Just because you get off work before everyone else doesn't give you the right to loaf around. If anything, it means you ought to help me make dinner."  
  
"I'm so sick of food by the time I get home I could throw-up." I growled at him again, before imitating one of the many ladies with screaming children that had given into buying fast food for her children as a dinner substitute. "I told you no pickles on that Big Kids mean! My precious Jonnie absolutely hates pickles! No, no, no! I said Cherry Coke! I swear you young men get stupider everyday. Now, I'm in a hurry, so get it right this time!"  
  
"That's cruel, yami," Ryuo scolded, and I shrugged.  
  
"It's the truth." At that moment Pharaoh walked in, grumbling, and flopped in the beanbag by the couch. Ryuo ran to get him a drink, and came back with a tall glass of ice water with lime that had probably been chilling in the refrigerator all day. It even had a stupid umbrella. I looked at my umbrella-less cherry kool aid and scowled at my hikari.  
  
"How come I don't get an umbrella?" Ryuo ignored me, handing Pharaoh his ice water.  
  
"How was your day, Yami?" Pharaoh took a long drink before answering.  
  
"How'd Anzu talk me into this, Ryuo? I hate dancing, and I can't stand young kids, so how'd she talk me into being a dance instructor?"  
  
"By batting her eyelashes and giving you a massage," I said brightly. "I took notes." Pharaoh scowled at me, and Ryuo shook his head until Pharaoh's hikari walked in, then he disappeared and reappeared with a tall glass of cherry cola. I noticed, with a scowl, that his drink had a curly straw.  
  
"Am I just not special enough to get anything in my drink?" I complained loudly. Again, Ryuo ignored me, handing Yuugi his drink.  
  
"Enjoy work, Yuugi-kun?" Yuugi nodded, taking a gulp of his soda, before elaborating.  
  
"I like being a substitute kindergarten teacher. It's fun! Those kids are soooo cute!" Ryuo smiled at him in his odd little way.  
  
"I'm glad you enjoy it, Yuugi-kun." Ishtar walked in then, and threw his Wendy's hat in the closet.  
  
"I'll never eat fast food again!" He growled.  
  
"Here, here!" I grinned at him, reaching over and raising what was left of my cherry kool aid, mostly ice cubes. Ryuo, with almost super human speed, raced into the kitchen and grabbed both his and Ishtar's nicely chilled apple sodas. For some reason he and Ishtar absolutely love apple soda, which is basically carbonated apple cider, but the rest of us can't stand the stuff.  
  
Ishtar took his customary seat on the recliner, and Ryuo happily bounced onto his lap, acting as, what amounted to, their cup holder.  
  
"Now all we have to do is wait for Malik-kun, and then we can eat dinner. I made pizza." He grinned and we all feigned to be pleased. Don't get me wrong, my hikari is an excellent cook, but the problem is that when he makes pizza, he always makes too much, so we usually end up having it for breakfast too, and probably lunch the next day as well. After three meals of pizza, you get sick of it, but he makes it at least once every two weeks so then you get really sick of it.  
  
"What kind is it, Ryuo-kun?" Yuugi asked sweetly.  
  
"Pepperoni."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"I made a pineapple one for Malik too."  
  
"Why do you encourage him in this vegetarian kick of his?" I snorted. "It's unnatural, not to mention unhealthy."  
  
"Malik does it alright, yami. He's careful." I opened my mouth to retort when Malik stormed in, tore off his sunglasses and whistle, and all but broke the coffee table as he threw them on it. Muttering just about every Egyptian curse word in his vocabulary, he walked into the kitchen without saying hello to anyone. Malik always insisted on getting his own drink, something that had pissed Ryuo off to no end at first, and he returned with a glass of regular tap water, but his hands were shaking so badly that, by the time he got to the couch, most of it was on the floor. He took a long drink, over half of what was left, before any of us spoke.  
  
"You okay, hikari mine?" Ishtar asked. Malik shook his head, panting slightly.  
  
"Rotten brats can't follow pool rules. Is it really that hard to resist the urge to try and drown your friend? Is it so hard not to run by the pool?" I sat up beside him, and he laid his head on my shoulder tiredly. I kissed the top of his head, and slid an arm over his shoulders. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm so tired and I still have all my homework to do." He sounded like he was about to cry, so I rubbed his upper arm and kissed him again. For someone who worked outside in the afternoons, first as the groundskeeper at his sister's Egyptian museum and then as a life guard at the local pool, he looked extremely pale, something very odd for someone of his descent and coloring, and the fact that he was still breathing hard and trembling under my finger tips made my stomach clench. I pulled him closer.  
  
"Ignore your homework, my love," I whispered close to his ear, so close my lips almost brushed it, "and just rest now."  
  
"I can't," he squirmed slightly as I allowed myself to gently kiss behind his ear, "my **Neesan** will kill me if she finds out I'm letting my grades slip."  
  
"Quit your job at the pool then," Yuugi suggested helpfully, but Malik shook his head.  
  
"We need the extra money, Yuugi-kun. I'm taking less classes than you guys, so I have to do my part." I couldn't understand how that even began to make sense, but I decided not to comment.  
  
"You're sister said she'd bail us out if we ever got into trouble."  
  
"So I can be in her debt forever? No thanks."  
  
"Well, we'll figure something out." Ryuo said sweetly. "In the mean time dinner is ready. Whose turn is it to set the table?" Now we have a little tradition at our house. Instead of whoever's turn it is saying so right away, we all point to different people and say its their turn, then Ryuo goes and looks at his list, and says whose turn it is and they, grumbling about how unfair it is, will go set the table. Well, I had peeked at the list earlier, and I knew it was Malik's turn, but since I could see him and his shaking hands breaking every dish in the house, I decided that I'd break tradition instead. It was much cheaper that way.  
  
"It's mine, Ryuo." I got to my feet much to Malik's and everyone else's surprise. Ryuo opened his mouth to protest, but I shot him a glare and nodded slightly over at Malik, who looked positively dead on his feet, and he got the hind. He nodded and got to his feet, gently pushing Ishtar's arms down from around his waist.  
  
"Okay, yami, I'll help you." Ishtar whined, but Ryuo ignored him without seeming to. I have to admit he's good at that, if Malik had whined at me like that I wouldn't have moved for several hours. We walked into the kitchen and I moved to get the plates while Ryuo walked over to the oven, but instead of opening it immediately, like I'd expected, he looked at the top of it listlessly. I finished counting my plates, and looked at him for a bit, growing uneasy until I forced myself to speak.  
  
"You okay, Ryuo?"  
  
"I'm really worried about Malik-kun."  
  
'Aren't we all?' I thought, but what I said was, "He's just tired Ryuo. He pushes himself to hard and..." I stopped, realizing it didn't sound at all like I believed what I was saying, which was true, I didn't.  
  
"Its more than that," he whispered, shaking his head, "he hasn't been eating well, and every time he does he just gets sick. He says he's tired, but he can't sleep." I felt my heart leap into my throat as Ryuo turned to look at me, eyes beginning to well up with tears. I turned away and began getting the cups down from the cupboard. Ryuo missed the memo this time, and continued anyway. "But the worst part is...I've seen him looking at you with that despairing look he gets, just watching you as you sleep, crying as he watches you, and..." I couldn't see it but I'd known my hikari long enough to know he was biting his lip, hesitating to say what he knew needed to be said. My hand automatically reached for another cup.  
  
"Just spit it out, Ryuo." There was a moment's pause, as my hikari gathered his courage, before he continued in a rushed manor and squeaky voice.  
  
"He's trying to overdose himself, I think. Every time I turn around he has some kind of pill he's taking, and when I ask him why he's taking so many he refuses to answer!" The glass slipped from my hand and hit the counter with a crash, sending pieces of glass flying everywhere.  
  
"Shit." I groaned but about the glass or Malik I wasn't sure.  
  
"Oh yami," Ryuo sighed, not moving to remove his pizzas from the oven before he'd help me to clean up the glass. I bent down to pick up the biggest pieces, trying not to growl and resisting the urge to curse every higher power for cursing me to be madly in love with a suicidal sexy boy, just as said lover, looking comparatively better, decided to poke his head in the door.  
  
"What didja break?" He grinned, and this time I did growl.  
  
"Your head if you don't wipe that smirk off your face."  
  
"Oh, touchy." He smiled before grabbing a bag and getting beside me to help. Some part of my brain noticed his still trembling hands, but I didn't move to stop him. We cleaned up silently side-by-side, and at some point Ryuo joined us. Just as I moved to pick up the last large shard I heard Malik yelp.  
  
"Ouch!" I turned and saw that he'd managed to slice the space between his thumb and his pointer finger before he stuck the offended spot in his mouth and gently sucked on hi. "Damn," he muttered around his hand good naturedly, "that hurts."  
  
"Don't cut yourself then," I didn't mean just with glass, but if Malik realized I knew his suicidal tendencies were resurfacing he gave no sign; instead taking the bandage Ryuo offered with his good hand and then removing his wounded hand from his mouth. I watched him as Ryuo went to get the vacuum to get the little pieces, and something struck me as odd about what I was watching. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it, but something seemed just... off. Malik noticed my staring as he put the bandage on, and gave me a crooked grin.  
  
"What, did you want some too?"  
  
"Whore," I muttered playfully, and Malik feigned looking hurt.  
  
"What? I didn't do anything."  
  
"Uh-hun." He just grinned and playfully leaned over so we were inches apart.  
  
"You know, I can always let you play vampire any time you want." He whispered, cocking his head so that his neck was exposed and so very inviting. I felt my whole body tingle, and then someone coughed from the doorway. I turned to glare at the offending person for ruining our moment, and discovered a very amused look Pharaoh.  
  
"If you two are quite finished..."  
  
"We're not," Malik said easily, and Pharaoh just as easily ignored him.  
  
"Then some of us would like dinner." Malik grinned at me one more time before getting to his feet.  
  
"As the almighty Pharaoh wishes." He mock bowed, and Pharaoh made a noise of annoyance, which made Malik laugh. I remained on the floor, watching him as he went to inspect dinner. He groaned.  
  
"Pizza? Again?"  
  
"He made pineapple just for you," Yuugi said brightly as he walked in, "because you still insist that pepperoni is a meat. It's not."  
  
"Is too," he looked over at the pizzas, "I just don't know what kind it is." He then made a face down at them. "We really need a dog." Yuugi laughed as I got to my feet to avoid being inhaled by the vacuum that Ryuo was now dragging through the door.  
  
"Why do we need a dog, Malik-kun?" Ryuo asked in a deceptively sweet tone that sent alarm bells ringing in my head. I opened my mouth to make some comment about needing something to eat our homework when Ishtar smoothly intervened, sliding his arms around my hikari's waist so that his hands were most conveniently placed and rested his head on his shoulder.  
  
"Because we don't want you to be lonely while we're away all day, little love," he practically purred in Ryuo's ear, and Ryuo let out a small gasp. Even though Ryuo and Ishtar had been together, albeit secretly, even longer than Malik and I, it was still hard for me to watch them together without getting insanely jealous, so instead I busied myself with pulling one very amused blond Egyptian over to the table.  
  
"Lets just hurry up and eat, Malik. Law and Order SVU is on tonight." He visibly brightened at that. For some reason he got a kick out of trying to solve the case before the guys on the show (even though he had yet to manage it), and he enjoyed watching it every chance he got. Pharaoh easily side stepped around Ryuo, and Ishtar who was "helping" him, to join us at the table while Yuugi got the water for us. When Ryuo was finished, both cleaning up the small pieces and kissing Ishtar into a complacent stupor, he brought the pizza over.  
  
"Lets eat!" Yuugi grinned, and so we began eating in silence for several minutes, before my hikari decided to speak up.  
  
"Malik-kun?" That same sweet tone, and inwardly I groaned.  
  
"Hm?" Malik asked around a mouthful of pizza.  
  
"We're out of milk." Malik stopped eating to stare at him.  
  
"So?"  
  
"We're out of you soy milk too."  
  
There was a pause, followed by the respected response. "Well, damn, so what?"  
  
"We need someone to go to the store, and since you're the only one with a vehicle that works right now..."  
  
"Damn," he said again, before whining, "but Ryuo my show..."  
  
"I'll record it for you." Malik whined again, even though he knew it was useless.  
  
"I'll go with you if you want," I found myself offering without thinking, and Malik just looked at me pitifully.  
  
"Or we could send someone else on your motorcycle," Yuugi said, honestly trying to be helpful (I think). That got Malik's attention.  
  
"No one touches my motorcycle!" He growled, as if this was something we all didn't know already, hence Ryuo having him go even though he was concerned for his health. "I'll go as soon as I'm done eating."  
  
"And I'll go with you." I reaffirmed. He scowled.  
  
"I don't need a babysitter. You're staying here." I smirked. Oh no I wasn't.

* * *

**Neesan**- Sister. What Malik always calls Isis. 


End file.
